Saturday, 28 May 2011


I don’t like Lionel Messi. There I’ve said it, I have gone and stated that the chosen one; the greatest ever player to pull on a pair of socks doesn’t do it for me. Le Petit prince, the Little Argentinean gets on my nerves.
Why? You may say. I’m glad you asked. I don’t like the fact this he has the same first name as Lionel Blair, let’s face it since when has a top sportsman been called Lionel? I don’t like the fact that he has the hair cut of a 1970’s US college nerd. I don’t like his face either; for a so called legend he’s no Beckham, Ali or Pires. He looks like a stout Copernicus. I don’t like the fact that he looks so pleased with himself when he scores; he does not celebrate in a cool way. In fact, on the subject of cool, he is so unutterably uncool; which is not cool.

I don’t like the fact that he plays for a club that are as pleased with themselves as he is. A club that competes on an unfair playing field, a club that has players such as Daniel Alves who is to sportsmanship what Hitler was to childcare. I don’t like the way he runs; like a plump toddler speeded up on super 8 film.

What I also don’t like about Messi is that he is being compared to Pele, Maradonna and Zidane; do me a favour! Win a World cup, win a league that is contested fairly by more than two teams then we can talk about it. All the above mentioned were around when there were more than a dozen absolute quality players knocking about yet they managed to be the cream of the crop.

What I dislike the most about him is that he has attained the status of a Christ like figure within a footballing landscape where there is little competition for the title of greatest; there has never been such a dearth of truly world class players as there is now.

So come on all you disciples of Messi, show a bit of perspective; yes he’s good, there’s no denying that, but let’s make judgements later down the line.

And if you think I have been unreasonable in my dislike, then you are wrong; I just don’t like Lionel. So there.

1 comment:

  1. I admire and trust your judgement old friend but leaving aside the "whose the greatest" argument I'm afraid your wrong on this one - he can only play what is put in front of him - some good, some bad - but the funny looking kid can play.

    Quite an achievement then, given all those problems, to play for one the world's biggest clubs, and in one of the word's best teams... oh and to be acknowledged as the world's best player

    Mick M


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