Shoot that poison chalice and other puns on opening fixtures

And so it came to pass, the poison chalice of an opening day fixture against Liverpool at Anfield. New Manager’s first game for the scousers and it will be all about a win for them. Even though they finished 12 points adrift this fixture is going to be a right awkward one,
Then Blackpool at Emirates, damned if we win and spoil the ‘fairytale’ damned if we don’t. Away to Allardyce’s Neanderthal army, home to Bolton Rugby League team and a long journey to the non-descript Mackems.

As uninspiring a set of opening fixtures as you could get.

Saturday14th (or whenever Sky and ESPN decide) August 2010 Liverpool v Arsenal A
Saturday 21st(or whenever Sky and ESPN decide)  August Arsenal v Blackpool H
Saturday 28th (or whenever Sky and ESPN decide) August Blackburn Rovers v Arsenal A
Saturday 11th(or whenever Sky and ESPN decide)  September Arsenal v Bolton Wanderers H
Saturday 18th (or whenever Sky and ESPN decide) September Sunderland v Arsenal A

Fortunately wellyousaythat will still be in sunnier Mediterranean climes and will have the consolation of watching the first two games in a Spanish bar with a cold San Miguel in hand.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS75NtlH3gI